Check out this link and listen to the beautiful sound of a Northern Mockingbird.  We have one that loves our yard.  We sure do love him all day long.  But, at 3am...not so much.  We were able to see him today for the first time.  I don't think I will be able to get close enough for a picture though.   Today we are researching the species and writing essays about them.  Next rattle snakes.  We saw one yesterday on our trail ride. 

 

 

Enjoy!

HI Friends,

 

Today we were in OC for piano and what has turned into park day. We usually go to three or four different parks during the day.  We drop off Andy at 9am and head off to do a few errands.  Today the boys got haircuts and we bought more piano music.  With four kids playing piano, we sure buy a lot of music.  After haircuts we went to our first park which is around the corner from our piano teacher’s house.  The kids enjoy running around, digging in the sand, climbing the trees, and screaming.  This first park is my favorite because nobody is ever there.  This is ALWAYS easier for Hailey.  I often bring sand toys for her because she can not handle the running around with the boys.  If it’s not a good day for sand toys, she swings or sits with me and I rub her back or tell her stories.  If she is having a bad day…that’s another story.  On a bad day she usually sits in the car or sits on my lap as I hold her very tightly.  When she is disregulated she can not play.  She will just spin out of control.  Today was the first day EVER that she sat and played with the sand toys for an extended period of time.  Tanner even joined her for a bit – and she continued to stay focused and be nice.  Praise God.

 

After piano we headed to park number two.  We had a yummy lunch that Chase and I made in the morning.  There was a little boy at the park that Chase ended up playing with.  The little boy was only 5 years old.  Chase does not usually choose to play with the 5 year olds.  I was watching closely because he seamed really drawn to the boy.  After we left the park he said to me “Mom, did you see that little boy that I was playing with?  Were you wondering why I played with him so much?”  I told him that actually I was wondering.  “Mom, I prayed for a sibling that acted like that when I played with them.  I wish that Hailey was like that.  I want to play with her but she is always so mean.” L I half expected that was the reason.

 

Next we picked up a friend for Chase, Payton, and Tanner to hang with at park number 3.  After playing for a while, the boys came over to where Hailey and I were sitting to have a snack.  A little baby girl – probably 14 – 16 months came over to see what was going on.  She was the cutest little thing.  She sat in Chase’s lap and started playing with his shoes.  He basically fell in love with her on the spot.  After the baby spent about 20 minutes playing with us and our sand toys the mom said (not knowing our history) “She likes you so much maybe you should just adopt her.”  Hailey’s head practically spun off in response.  And the boys begged altogether “Oh mom, can we??””  OY!

 

I posted pictures of the dog treats we made.  They had a blast making the treats and the dogs loved ‘em!

 

Hugs!

Hi Friends,

 

We had one fun, crazy, busy, geocaching, horse riding weekend.  But, first things first…let me tell you about the tree house.

 

Since time began, well really since the boys could speak, they have been asking for a tree house.  There was discussion about it several times possibly happening at Nana’s house.  But, Nana has serious Black Widow issues at her house.  Not sure why she has so many at her house, but she does.  I know they are every where, but we don’t have as many here.  Anyway, the boys have been beggin’ and pleadin’ for a tree house for years.  So obviously, when we discussed moving out to the country, finding a “tree house tree” was at the top of their list – Andy’s too.  We looked at many nice properties.  But, if we could not find a tree that would house a tree house…it was off the list, and I am not joking.  Andy takes these kinds of things very seriously!

 

This house shot to the top of the list for many reasons…but most importantly, it had THE PERFECT tree house tree.  I am sure that you saw the pictures.  If not take a peek.  The tree house is 17 feet off the ground.  I was pleading for a house 5 feet off the ground, but no body liked that idea.  L  I had to leave the house when they were doing the initial building.  They were hanging off limbs, dangling from the air, and working from very precarious spots.  I could not stop nagging poor Andy because I was suffering from sheer terror.  “What if they fall?  That’s too high!  I can’t let any of their friends climb into that thing!  We will get sued!”  You name it and I thought it.  Andy came down from the tree and said “it’s a nice day for a pedicure, don’t you think?”  He was right!  Why torture myself?  I left.

 

Fast forward…The structure has a solid floor, a trap door, and a railing all the way around.  They are not finished with the project.  In the end, it will have 5 foot walls, windows and a roof.  However, it was complete enough to have the first sleep over.  Chase, Payton, and Tanner hauled up (with a brilliant pulley system that they created) a tent, sleeping bags, lanterns, toys, food, and games.  They finished just in time for Chase’s friend T to sleep over. 

 

The tree house tree is 500 feet from our house.  We have coyotes that come on our property at night.  I was worried that T might not be able to stay in the tree all night.  I knew Chase was fine.  He is a certifiable nut like his dad.  He is not afraid of anything; never worries about anything.  Would we have to help them out of the tree at 3am?  No way!  I was totally off base.  T was fine.  They absolutely loved sleeping up there.

 

In the morning I took T, our neighbor Z, and Chase horse riding.  We had so much fun.  It was a lovely day and we had peace on the trail because Andy was at home with Hailey.  After the ride we cleaned up after the horses and had a wonderful lunch with Nana.  Spaghetti with Nana.  For some reason the kids just love having spaghetti at Nana’s.  We bring friends through Nana’s house like it is a group home.  Everyone has been there and enjoyed her spaghetti.  When they greet her at the door they always ask “Can you make spaghetti Nana?”

 

Next, we drove to the half way point between SD county and OC to pick up three more kids.   Then we headed back to town to geocache.  Check out geocaching.com if you are interested in a fun hiking experience.  The kids just go bonkers for geocaching.  Caching at our house is like spaghetti at Nana’s.  “Mrs. Dugas can we please go geocaching today?”  “How many caches can we find today?”  Well, we did three on Saturday and three on Sunday.  Our total hiking distance between the two days was 6 miles.   The kids get so focused on the GPS and finding the prize that there are no complaints.  It is amazing. 

 

We had a fun dinner on Saturday night after all the activities.  We were so very silly.  We spoke in different accents and told funny stories.  We played a history trivia game that I made up.  The kids loved it.  I have not laughed that much in a long time.

 

The next day we showed up at church with the whole gang.   As we rolled out of two cars, all eyes were on us.   Countless people asked “are those ALL of your kids???”   We were all laughing about it.  This is the fourth church that we are looking at.  We really like the last one we have been attending.  But, we wanted to visit all four that were originally on our list before making a decision. 

 

Church was followed by a hot lunch on the deck and 3 more caches.  We brought the kids back at 5pm and I was asleep by 7:30pm  Hahaha!

 

I added photos of the upstairs loft that Andy and the boys built.  They actually did about 50% of the work.  They had a blast with Daddy and did a mighty fine job.  The First picture is a before shot.

Hi Friends,

 

I know it has been a while….I only have 10 more boxes to unpack.  Andy built the home school supply loft.  I will post pictures.  The boys helped him build the entire thing.  The total cost $829.00.  I am sure if we hired a contractor they would have charged us about eight to ten thousand.  California is a rip off when it comes to remodeling, pool building, and landscape work.

 

I took my time unpacking because I wanted to sort through things to make sure that I REALLY needed them.  When we moved the first time, I spent 3 weeks getting rid of things we didn’t need.  I also sold quite a bit of furniture.  Second move, I had two garage sales and got rid of more stuff.  I can’t believe that there is still stuff we don’t need.  The stuff is mostly house decorations that I have had for too long and just don’t want any more.  I am trying to simplify even more.  I am a chucker….if we don’t need it…we don’t keep it.  I am so surprised how things just accumulate.

 

We have planted 10 fruit trees so far.  We hope to have an orchard one day.  But right now…we have no irrigation.  So we have to water the trees by hand.  It’s a great time consumer for Hailey.  Andy put 4 swings in the big oak tree we have.  The kids helped him cut the wood and rout the edges.  They also built two picnic tables, one for the deck and one for the house.  My mom thinks having a picnic table in the house is silly.  But, we think it’s fun. 

 

The Red Wigglers are doing their thing in the Worm Factory compost bin.  I thought that I had killed them all because I set the kit up wrong.  After Chase informed me that it was upside down we saved the worms.  We should be placing compost on our new trees shortly.  Go little worms go!

 

We are pretty sure that we have found a new home church.  We have attended 3 times so far.  The Easter service was lovely.  The people are kind, Christ centered, and very supportive of each other.  We have one more church to check out.  But, my guess is we will stay at this one.  The kids are adjusting to a new place.  They were with the same church body and friends their whole lives.  Chase and Payton were at our church in the SF Bay Area.  We moved when they were 2 and 1.

 

Now I am working on our home school group.  I will attend a meeting tonight with a community home school support group.  I hope to get a few good ideas about a PSP – private study program  (formerly ISP- independent study program in California) in our community.

 

Last week we were in OC for State Testing.  Our ISP requires it.  The kids love the testing.  They love being with all of their friends on the play ground.  We brought our Mt. Bikes for our favorite ride.  I think I told you that Andy pulls Hailey on an Alley Cat.  It is a hook on bike attachment.  It attaches to the back of Andy’s bike.  She has handlebars, a seat, pedals, and a back tire.  As we were riding last week, the bolt that attaches the Ally Cat to Andy’s bike snapped in two hurling Hailey onto the ground face first.  I was behind her and saw as the Ally Cat and her body flipped over her head.  I was sure that her neck was broken.  As I a was screaming for Andy to come back (he know what happened), I anxiously waited hoping Hailey would move before I picked her up.  Praise God she brought her hands to her face and started to cry.  She then brought her knees to her chest.  I knew at this point that her neck did not snap so I carried her off the trail because other riders were coming fast and furious.  At this point I think I resumed breathing…I think I was holding my breath after screaming hysterically.  We had about 3 miles of the trail left before we were on a main road.  If we called 911 we would have to wait for either a Ranger to be sent out, Paramedics to hike in or life flight to show.  I knew her neck was not broken, but at this point I was worried about a brain injury.  She had a helmet on….but the fall was bad.  Our friend that was with us rode out with the boys.  Andy rode out with the Ally Cat and some unknown rider carried my bike out on his back (bless you dear man), as I hiked Hailey out.  What scared me the most was that she kept asking “What are we doing?  Why are you carrying me?  Did I fall?  How did I fall?”  Our dear angel neighbor who always helps us was their waiting at the trail head to take us to the hospital.  Fast forward…CT Scan, MRI, X-rays….all negative!  Praise God.  She had a severe concussion for several days and can not do any activity for two weeks, but will be just fine.  We are all praying that she will ride again as Mt. Biking is a huge Dugas hobby.  Andy has double bolted the Ally Cat for safety.  But, we might have to use the tandem for a while.

I gotta run….but at least you have an update.

 

Jen

Hi Friends,

 

On Thursdays mornings we drive back to OC with Andy.  He goes to work.  We run errands, go to piano and then have play dates with old friends.  Our piano teacher is the best.  I think I have written about her before.  She is very talented and has many students go on to play for University music conservatories.  But, she also has a lot of experience with kids that are special needs as one of her children is on the Autistic spectrum.  Mrs. O does a wonderful job with Hailey.  Yesterday, Hailey had a wonderful lesson.  But, many times she can be so distracted and fidgety.  I usually have tears in my eyes most of Hailey’s lessons.  Mostly because I am happy for Hailey that she enjoys piano.  But, also because Mrs. O was created to teach Hailey piano and I am thankful to Jesus for that.  Mrs. O is lovingly firm with Hailey.  She is probably the first adult in a teaching position that acts this way towards Hailey.  Mrs. O is not sucked in by the RAD for one second.  One of the hardest things with RAD is explaining it to people and then getting them to treat Hailey in a manner that is fitting for her. 

 

From the outside, Hailey looks like a happy, healthy, “normal” child.  She does a wonderful job of masking (Mask of RAD) her pain, fear, and anger.  Only our family, and a few close friends, really understands what is going on in that mind and heart of hers.  Hailey can manipulate the smartest and strongest people into believing that “all is well”.  It is so comforting for me and the boys especially, when we are around an adult that treats Hailey the same as I do.  Because Hailey wears the mask of RAD 85% of the time, it is easy to convince ourselves that we are crazy.  “Look at that cute kid, there is nothing wrong with her.  She’s just being saucy.”  But, then she will do something that a happy, healthy, “normal” child would never do…and we know…RAD.   I am thankful to Jesus for Mrs. O.  For teaching my kids piano, for walking with us through our journey, and for UNDERSTANDING Hailey and doing what is best for her!

 

Hugs!

 

HI Friends...

 

Don't worry...I got the message...6 chickens max to start.  Thanks for the emails! 

Hi Friends,

 

Well, we are on our way to hobby farm central.  Last week we purchased our "Worm Factory" for vermicomposting.  Our Red Wigglers arrive on Tuesday.  We have their bedding ready to go.  The kids are so excited to make "worm food" from our trash.  

 

We have a friend that would like to give us thirty chickens.  I don't think we will take that many.  10 to 15 sounds like plenty...maybe even too many.  We need to make a chicken coop for about 15 chickens.  Any suggestions??  I found many sites online...but if anybody has a great site or coop design that they could suggest, I would love the help.  We have a lot of coyotes running around, so the coop needs to be a good design.

 

I will keep you posted.  We just finished school and we are off to ride the horses.  Nana is 7 minutes away instead of 65 minutes!  Yipee!!

 

Hugs!

Hi Friends,

 

I loaded more pictures of Tahoe.  When you see the kids sledding in the blizzard, note that Andy and I were sitting in the heated car, drinking coffee, and taking photos! LOL!!  I took a picture from the balcony for a before and after shot of the blizzard.  Pics of us skiing and boarding.  Just having fun!  One day I skied with the kids all by myself.  Nana was tired and Andy flew home to go back to work.  The kids did a great job staying all together!  Thanks to KJ's fleece longjohns....I was not cold later in the week.  I actually wore 4 layers.  That's why I look like the Michelleen Man (spelling??) in the photo!  Heeheehee! 

 

Hugs!

Hi Friends,

 

We are in Lake Tahoe on our annual ski trip.  We have been here since Friday.  We have been having a grand time.  Saturday we swam in the indoor pool, played in the snow, played Whallyball (volleyball) in a racquet ball court, ping pong, and rented our skis. 

 

We have a system when we get here.  We look for the best ski rental deals and the best ski resort deals.  We found a great, small shop that had skis for $19 a day for adults and $10 a day for kids.  Lake Tahoe has amazing lift tickets deals at the local ski resorts.  At Diamond Peak and Homewood, Tanner and Hailey are free.  Chase and Payton are only $10.  Nana is a super senior $10 for her ticket.   That is why we make the 9 hour drive here.  Mammoth is only a 5 ½ or 6 hour drive for us but I think their tickets are up to $85 for adults and $41 for kids.   

 

Yesterday, after doing a devotional with the kids, we headed over to Kirkwood for the day.  They were running a Sunday special.  Two kids ski free with each paying adult.  God totally blessed us yesterday.  First, there was some event going on that we did not know about.  We bought our tickets in the wrong ticket line by accident.  We got the special deal that the event attendees were to get…two kids per each paying adult for half of what we were planning to pay.   The gal behind the counter insisted that this was the special for the day, not knowing we were not attending the event.  Later when we realized what was going on, Andy went back to tell the gal of the mistake and she said “don’t worry about it.  What’s done is done!”  Score we paid $91 for 6 people to ski. 

 

God also blessed us with snow, snow, and more snow.  It rained all over Tahoe except at Kirkwood.  In Kirkwood it snowed all day.  Although it was a tad cold, the skiing was just awesome.  We had a great time. 

 

God also blessed us by giving Hailey and me a lovely day together.  Her behavior on the slopes was so wonderful, I was shocked.  Hailey was able to suppress the RAD and let me guide her, help her, teach her, and assist her.  This is the first time in 3 years that she has allowed this.  We shared reciprocity.  We laughed together.  She let me take care of her without getting snotty.  It was literally a gift from Jesus.  It was so amazing how she trusted me the entire day.   

 

Of course today Hailey is being very difficult.  It is very stressful for her to be obedient, to trust me, to let me love her.  The RAD must work double time to protect her from the love and affection that threatens her daily existence.  When she was an infant, being neglected, her brain told her that adults can not be trusted.  Their touch was either non-existent or painful.  To allow that affection now would be contradictory to what got her this far in life….self preservation, instincts and survival tactics.  Not all neglected children end up with attachment disorders or diagnosed RAD.  Why?  This is not known.  When I figure it out, I will let you know.  In the mean time… I think she is healing.  I think the desire to ski was greater than the fear of trusting me.  I think she is learning to trust me in some situations.  This I do know.

 

We are taking a break from skiing today.  It is snowing like crazy in all of Tahoe.  Although yesterday was lovely, it took a lot out of Andy and I.  We both froze in our 20 year old ski outfits.  The kids all have the best outfits that we borrow and piece together from friends.  At on point, when I was shaking from the cold, Tanner said “I am so hot, can I take of my turtle neck?”  LOL!

 

I will post picture from my adventure with Hailey and the kids sledding in the snow.

 

Hugs to all!

Hi All,

 

Andy and the boys worked all weekend on the BMX track.  He finally started up the tractor and took it out for a spin.  The track is awesome.  The boys ride it any time they get a break from school.  This morning at 6am Payton and Tanner came to wake me up to see if they could ride the track???  Hmmmm.....I did not know how to answer that one.  Who were they going to bother?  I told them to wait until 7am 

 

I put pictures up of Andy driving the tractor.  You should have seen his smile when he finally got that baby to fire up.  It is a 1955 Macy Furgesun.  I don't know if I am spelling that right.  But, as far as a tractor goes, I guess it is pretty cool.  The boys call it Big Red.

 

I also put pictures up of Tanner and Payton doing school work on the balcony.  They just love sitting out there.  I put two pages of Hailey's school work up too.  Because of Hailey's disabilities school is very hard for her.  Very Hard.  These two pages are amazing progress for her.  I use the program Explode the Code with her.  She has really progressed with this program.  The first page is a picture of Hailey with our dog Lucy.  She wrote several words on the page all by herself.  The second page is part of ETC.  She looked at each picture and wrote the matching word on her own.  She was very proud of herself.  I was too, that's why I am posting them.

 

Hugs!

 

 

I know it's silly...to give you a trash update....but, it's our new life  We discovered that we do have trash service. 

The old owners probably knew that there was trash service.  But, it’s not that convenient, so they did not use it.  I called last week and signed us up.  We took a drive to Home Depot and bought ourselves some cans and filled them up.  We put them out at the end of our driveway by our gate and were mighty proud of ourselves.  Well, in the morning I had the boys run down to put a few more items in the cans before the truck came.  They came running back up the drive yelling “the cans are gone!”  What…who would steal our brand new trash cans???  Payton thought the garbage men thought the cans were trash too and just threw them in the truck.  Haha!

 

We were puzzled for a few hours.  Later that day, we went out for a few things.  We found our beautiful trash cans up the road by our mailbox.  Thank you to one of our neighbors who moved our cans to where they were supposed to be.   We will try again tonight.   The boys will roll the cans down the drive and up the hill on their skateboards.

 

From our front porch/balcony we can see falcons and Red Tailed Hawks all day long.  They soar over the tree tops so gracefully.  They are just lovely.  Right now, a huge turkey vulture flew right past the balcony as the boys were doing their reading.  I heard screeching and looked out just in time to see it fly by.

 

Hailey is doing a little better today.  She is getting used to the new routine and house.  She sleeps on a mattress in our bedroom.  It’s tucked in a little corner of the room.  This just seems to be the best choice for her.  When she had her own room at our old house, she would just get into so much trouble.  Now, she is right by my side and I can keep an eye on her.   This seems to remove the fear of being alone, which in turn decreases the bad behavior.

 

The flu is slowly lifting from our home.  Tanner is starting now though.  I thought he would escape it….wishful thinking.  So far though, on ibuprofen, he can still play a little.  I think Payton was hit the worst.  His ribs are sore from coughing so much.

 

If you read this blog and you know us personally and are wondering what our new address is…I am sending it out soon.  I promise.

 

Hugs to all!

Hi Friends,

 

We have the FLU!!! 'nuf said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We had flu shots like we do every year.  Maybe they were duds!  Oy vey!  Do not get the flu!  Payton is on day four.  He rolled around on the floor all day today in agony.    Fevers, fevers, and more fevers.  Yesterday was my birthday....felt terrible...oh well.

 

We are in our new house.  Me moved on the 7th.   We did not have internet for a week.  Thanks to Uncle Aaron, we are up and running.  Then we were hit by the dreaded flu. 

 

I will post again when I am better and tell you how the new house.  Hailey is struggling with the move, which we expected.  But, the boys haves pace to roam and play while I do my work with her.  They were loving that....until they got the flu!

 

Hailey officially has a chore...which is three years in the making.  RAD kids don't like to obey.  RAD kids do not love to do things over and over...so chores are very tough.  She makes her bed too, but that does not count as a chore in our house.  You slept in it, you make it.  I don't expect perfection...just covers moved around.  Hailey can sit in her room all she wants until her bed is made.  Sometimes it takes five minutes, sometimes 2 hours.  Wont budge on that one.  I am kind and loving...but, wont budge.  We have been working on having Hailey unload the dishwasher.  We have worked one whole year on getting her to unload the diswasher.  I am not kidding...Yes, one year.  We can't threaten her or punish her.  RAD kids don't do "if you ....I will..." or rewards.  Well, at least not this RAD kid.  She does not care.  So the rule is no morning snack until the diswasher is unloaded.  I feed her a light breakfast so that she really wants her snack.  The fastest she has unloaded is 7 minutes.  The longest 3 hours.  Yes, the life of RAD.  But, we really think she must have a chore to feel that she contributes to the family.   Yes, she did chores before when we did Nancy Thomas Parenting.....sigh....comment if you have quesitons as to why we are not, don't have the time now...but that was different.  We basically forced her to do it.  Well, force is not the right word...she could do the chore or strong sit.  Now, she does not have to do the chore, but she does not get a snack.   No biggie for me or the family.  We tell her we love her.  It's no biggie...  There is lot's of talk about how scary it is for her to obey.  How giving up control is scary.  That' it is ok to be scared to obey.  We love her through it.  One day, she licked every single utensil before she put them in the drawer.  She got her snack - because she did her job, I washed them and had her do it again for ice cream.  Worked like a charm.  Yes, I know this was defiant.  But, she is always trying to push the limit.... when I don't react the RAD gets weaker, Hailey gets stronger.

 

Ok, people with the flu are crying and calling me.  Hailey is better and bugging the sick people.

 

Hugs,

 

Jen 

I did not want to forget this funny...

 

Hi Friends,

 

I have posted videos of the kids presenting their science projects.  Chase was awarded 1st place in the 5th grade category.  Tanner and Payton 2nd place in 2nd/3rd grade category. 

 

They did all the work themselves - research, typing, cutting and pasting, fiding pictures to use on their board, and preparing their speeches.

 

Hopefully they are not too slow.  You can go directly to youtube.com for a better look.

 

Jen

HI Friends,

 

I have a cute Hailey story to share.  Yesterday,  the kids had piano lessons.  Hailey did not go because she has a cold.  She was not feeling too well.  After I dropped the boys off, we went to Starbucks for a Latte and some hot chocolate.  We sat at the tables by the fire…(it’s not cold here, but us Californians like to pretend),  and started to have a little chat.  I was so proud of Hailey because in about 2 minutes she told me “I don’t like the people, why are there so many people?”  That’s her cue for “get me outta here!”  I asked her “are the people making you nervous?” She said “yes.”  I asked “do you want to sit in the car with our coffee?” She agreed.  So we moved on out to the car.  We both sat in the back seat and pretended like we were lady friends having coffee.  She loves to do this.

 

As we sat in the car I let her direct the conversation for awhile.  She was so funny.  She holds out a pinkie when holding her “coffee cup”.  She acts very sophisticated and grown up.  Here is the story that she gave me of herself:

 

She said her name was Karen.  She had three kids.  Her “dad” goes to work every day.  She cooks and cleans, teaches school, and feeds the pets.  (haha)  Sometimes she has to do work on the computer like pay people money, and the kids don’t like it.  But she says they can ride their bike when she has to work on the computer.  Then she leans over and whispers…”I have a RAD kid, you know.”  I said “Oh, really.  What does that mean?”  She comes out of character for a brief moment and says “Mom, you know”…and makes this face like come on lady, work with me.  Back in character she says, “So I really have four kids” (Interesting, I was wondering why she only said three in the beginning).  I go on to ask her what it is like to have a RAD kid.  She says “It is really, really hard.”  I ask “how is it hard?”  She says “well, I have to do special stuff all the time with her.  Holdings, happy holds, take her to the doctor all the time….and stuff like that.”  I asked “what does a RAD kid do?”  She says “well, she does not obey.  She likes to be the boss and make her own rules.  She wants to do whatever she wants even at Church (Haha).  She wants to be in charge.”  I said “wow, that must be really hard when you are trying to be a good mom and take care of her.”  She smiled and shook her head yes.  I then asked “How do you think your RAD kid feels every day?”  She said “sad and very mad.”  I asked “do you think your RAD kid likes herself, is proud of herself?”  She said “No” looking down at the ground. 

 

That was enough; she totally changed the subject and talked about something else.  I followed her lead and went with it.  I asked her “what do you want to be when you grow up?”  She said “Oh, a Grandma!  I will babysit your kids when I am a grandma and make them things and cookies.” J That is the cutest thing!!!

 

Very insightful don’t you think?  I thought she did a great job sharing her feelings.  How sad that she thinks she does not count in the grand total of kids.  I could understand why though.  I have to treat her and handle her so very differently from the boys.  I pray for the day that she will feel united and part of our family.  That she won’t feel so separate.  That’s one of the reasons we are moving.  She does so well on the horses.  I think she really feels like a Dugas when we are at the ranch.

 

I also want to mention that it is huge that she let me know in the coffee shop that she was worried about the people.  First, she recognized that was a fear trigger for her.  Second, she trusted me that I would do something about it.  With a non-traumatized child, you might think let’s work through this.  Let’s stay and get over this fear.  With a traumatized child it is important to recognize the trigger and protect from it.  Maybe some day we can address it and get over it.  But now, it is so important to recognize it and show Hailey that I am a safe place to take refuge from a fear.  Think of a 16 month old that reaches out and touches something hot, has a reflex reaction, looks for mom, and then starts to cry.  Mom picks up the baby, soothes her and tells her “it’s ok, mama is here” and rocks the child until all is well.  That’s what I need to do when she experiences a fear trigger.  Basically, I am saying “mama is here, don’t you worry!”

 

Hi All,

 

Well, January started out with a bang.  We had a surprise 75^th birthday party for Nana on January 18^th.  I have been planning the party since June of last year, but could not post about it because Nana reads the blog.  Sorry Nana for stating your age….but we are so proud of how healthy and strong you are.   The party was a total success.  My brother, SIL and I have been working like crazy people to make the event a great surprise.  Of course a lot of sneaking around had to be done, but we pulled it off.   We had 65 people in attendance and Nana was shocked!  We had great food (Thanks Debbie and Julie), great music (Thanks Martin), and lots of fun.

 

Next up…Science fair this Saturday.  Chase is presenting Volcanoes.  Payton and Tanner are presenting Pyramids.  Professor Shocks-a-lot (a.k.a. Professor Drops-a-lot from last years fair, a.k.a. Andy) will be presenting about electricity.  Andy has been working for 4 months solid on his presentation.  I am sure he will present an electrifying J experience!!

 

Followed by: The big move!  We think we will be moving to the new house Feb. 14^th.   Happy Valentines Day to us!!!!!!  We have closed escrow, but have been too busy to move.  J  Andy and the kids knew that I could not plan Nana’s party and the move at the same time.  So, we are waiting a few weeks.  The kids would love to spend the night before the furniture moves in….we can probably accommodate them with that.

 

Followed by: Our annual ski trip to Lake Tahoe…..All wonderful events, but I think I will collapse when we return from Tahoe!

 

The kids are excited for the move.  They are very sad to leave our church and their friends.  We have attended church with the same friends for 9 years.  We have a wonderful kids program at our church.  My kids love Jesus and worshipping with their friends.  This will be the hardest transition.  There are 4 churches that we are looking at in our new area.  We are looking for solid biblical teaching and a kids program that will work with Hailey’s special needs.   I look forward to where God will lead us.

 

An exciting thing that we learned about our new house is that we have no trash service.  That’s really funny for us folk from “total suburbia”.    For those of you from rural areas…no trash service is not a problem.  I am sure that we will have the problem solved in no time.  We have gotten many ideas from friends of ours.  We will keep you posted.

 

Got to go and help with the sugar cube pyramid….

 

Hugs!

 

 

 

 

Hi Friends,

 

Happy New Year to all!  May we all be blessed with joyful memories in 2009!

 

We went to the sand dunes for New Years.  We were there for four days.  We had a relaxing time playing in the sand, riding our quads, and freezing our tails off in the trailor.  The kids got dirty, made s'mores, rode until their thumbs hurt, dug in the sand, and rode some more.  I did my best to enjoy the time.    If I could have taken a hot shower one of the days I would have been a little bit happier. 

 

Hailey rode a quad for the first time.  She was finally ready to take directions on how to ride.  She did a great job and had a wonderful time. 

 

I have included a few photos.  Remeber to click on Dugas Family Adoption next to family profile.  Who knows if I will ever be able to fix the problem with the blog.

 

Our house is set to close next Wednesday.  We are really excited for the move.  We do not have an official moving date yet.  Probably towards the end of February.

 

I gotta run...we need to buy more crickets for Lizzy.